Just wanted to share some park pictures with you...
Monday, November 16, 2009
Jayden 1st Hair cut!
Last Monday, I had PT appointment where Jason gets his haircut. I told Jay for awhile, Jayden needs a haircut. We decided that day, after my PT appointment.
Jayden did GREAT!
Enjoy the pictures!
Thank You
I had a lot of people email me, and I wanted to say THANK YOU. I appreciate you sharing your story, and support for me.
Since the last time I posted about my problems, things have really turned around for me. I am getting a better understanding of PPD and Panic Attacks. Thank GOODNESS! I dont take the meds anymore for PPD, because it was stemming from a lot more then PPD. I had a lot of depression with vertigo, and panic attacks.
I've been too 3 physical therapy appointments for my vertigo- WOW! I really honestly, thought it was joke that I was even going to therapy for vertigo. I was VERY nervous when I walked into the door, because all I could think about what happen at the doctors office. After collecting myself and putting my thoughts in line.. I thought to myself " What do I have to lose"?
She did couple of test on me, to make sure I had vertigo and what type. She lead me to the table, that I was NOT wanting to do. She started with right side ( the worse side), and laid me back, keep my neck very still- turning to the right. MY WORLD WAS ROCKING!!! After a few minutes, finally passed, and she rolled me into another position, and so forth. I took a break for about 5 minutes just to collect myself and wipe the tears from my eyes. She asked me - " Want to try again"? Thinking.. " What the heck, I need to get this corrected" To my surprise - IT WORKED! I could actually lay down on my left side, without my world rocking. In a short summary, she was moving the crystals back into place. That's why, she has to be very careful how she moves my head, and how long I stay there. Since my 1st appointment, I've been back twice and made big progress!!! It's getting easy for me.. I have one more session left, and actually looking forward too it.
Strange thing at hand - since that appointment! I notice the depression was getting better, and the panic attacks were not starting. Very old, so that's why I took myself off the meds, and doing a lot better!!!
This is my SMALL update.. I will update more soon. I have a lot to update. Again, thank you to everyone that has emailed/called me.
XOXO
Since the last time I posted about my problems, things have really turned around for me. I am getting a better understanding of PPD and Panic Attacks. Thank GOODNESS! I dont take the meds anymore for PPD, because it was stemming from a lot more then PPD. I had a lot of depression with vertigo, and panic attacks.
I've been too 3 physical therapy appointments for my vertigo- WOW! I really honestly, thought it was joke that I was even going to therapy for vertigo. I was VERY nervous when I walked into the door, because all I could think about what happen at the doctors office. After collecting myself and putting my thoughts in line.. I thought to myself " What do I have to lose"?
She did couple of test on me, to make sure I had vertigo and what type. She lead me to the table, that I was NOT wanting to do. She started with right side ( the worse side), and laid me back, keep my neck very still- turning to the right. MY WORLD WAS ROCKING!!! After a few minutes, finally passed, and she rolled me into another position, and so forth. I took a break for about 5 minutes just to collect myself and wipe the tears from my eyes. She asked me - " Want to try again"? Thinking.. " What the heck, I need to get this corrected" To my surprise - IT WORKED! I could actually lay down on my left side, without my world rocking. In a short summary, she was moving the crystals back into place. That's why, she has to be very careful how she moves my head, and how long I stay there. Since my 1st appointment, I've been back twice and made big progress!!! It's getting easy for me.. I have one more session left, and actually looking forward too it.
Strange thing at hand - since that appointment! I notice the depression was getting better, and the panic attacks were not starting. Very old, so that's why I took myself off the meds, and doing a lot better!!!
This is my SMALL update.. I will update more soon. I have a lot to update. Again, thank you to everyone that has emailed/called me.
XOXO
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Vertigo/ PPD/ Panic Attacks
I am going to take some time and open up about a lot of stuff that has been going on.
They say a person blogs, to get things off their chest and mind. I have a lot to clear the air with, and hoping this helps me right now.
Over the last six months, I have been dealing with PPD and Panic attacks. This subject is very hard for me to talk about, because I dont really want people to know, I am dealing with this. Look at me any different, or make judgements about me or my family. PPD started when the twins were around 5 months, and I thought, I could control it myself. That was not the case, and lead me to panic attacks. Panic attacks have truly taken over my life sometimes, but now that I am on meds, seem to be helping me a lot. I still cry a lot, and have no reason for it. Working through it day by day, and I decided if I " talked" about it, would help me a bit more. Instead of keeping everything inside, and only talking to my husband and OB about it. PPD is more on the lines, of feeling empty inside.. Not feeling my normal self, and lonely. I have no clue, why I could ever feel this way, when I have two healthily babies and loving husband. Before I had the twins, I was happy go lucky, and easy going. Now, I worry about the smallest things, I cry over the littlest thing. I am always wondering " what if", and those have lead me to the panic attacks. I worry, if something happens to me - Who will take care of my kids, will they know who I was, will they ever know, how much I love them.. Its sad, because as I type this.. I am just crying because, I want to be there for my kids in every way. I am always worrying.. My primary care finally found the right meds for me, and seems to be working. Panic attacks have gone a lot, but in the meantime of everything, I have vertigo!
I have positional vertigo, and it's very scary to have. They say it's crystals that build in the back of your ears, that will cause someone to be " off balance". One morning, I woke up and I could not even WALK! I was bouncing off the walls, and could not even get to my kids in their cribs. Thank goodness, that day I was supposed to be going out with MIL, and she came right over. When this happen, it set me in the worse panic attack, they I could ever deal with.
Over the course of the days, my balance was starting to come back normal. I decided that Tuesday, I would go in and see my primary care - just to understand " why". She noticed, I had a large amount of fluid behind my ears, and caused me to lose my balance. She gave me a script and off I went. Over the course of the month, I notice certain positions, I would put myself into, would cause my to feel like I was dizzy and going to pass out. When this was happening the panic attacks were getting stronger, because I did not know what was going on. This past Monday, I made appointment and I wanted Jason to go with me. She did couple of test on me, and said " you have vertigo" Now, I have to go to therapy 2x a week for 2 weeks to try and correct it, and if that does not work. I have to go and see ENT doctor, which takes forever to get into. I went ahead and made an appointment with ENT doctor, because they are hard to get into - my appointment is Nov 24th. Friday, I will be going to my 1st appointment for therapy - JOY!
All these events have been taking place, and I have been keeping them inside. I am now to the point, where I feel like I could lose my mind. I cry more then I ever have, because I want to "normal" again, and be the best mom and wife, that I can be. With all these problems, just feel like the world is against me right now. I really dont have "friends" anymore, because I had kids. A lot of my friends, dont have children and went their own way. Which is fine, and I knew it would happen. I feel like, I am trapped in this bubble and trying to figure everything out.
Did not want to share with my family, because I dont want them to worry. I dont want them to look at me say " Are you Okay", or think I cant take care of my own kids. I want to be strong and get pass this and live life to the fullest. Right now, I dont feel like I am, because I am scared of myself. I dont know, if that make any sense, but to me it does.
Today at the park with two moms, I finally opened up. They notice I was not myself anymore, and finally just broke down. It easy for someone to say " its going to be okay", I keep telling myself that. Just dont think they understand, what fears I have. Am I going to wake up tomorrow with no balance and not be able to walk?" Am I going to have a panic attack?
Not sure if anyone truly understands, what I am going through.. I dont want anyone to understand, I want myself to understand more then anything. Right now, they only thing I understand is - I love my kids more then life, and my husband. Everything else, I dont understand and trying to find my way.
Just pray that this will pass, and I lead a normal life and be happy again. Right now, I am breaking down inside. I am putting my faith into God, to get my through this. They also say " This To Shall Pass" Right now, I dont feel like this is going to pass....
This is the short and skinny of everything. I did not go back and read this, because it just makes me cry. Sorry for the typos, ect - Just wanted to get it off my chest.
XOXO
They say a person blogs, to get things off their chest and mind. I have a lot to clear the air with, and hoping this helps me right now.
Over the last six months, I have been dealing with PPD and Panic attacks. This subject is very hard for me to talk about, because I dont really want people to know, I am dealing with this. Look at me any different, or make judgements about me or my family. PPD started when the twins were around 5 months, and I thought, I could control it myself. That was not the case, and lead me to panic attacks. Panic attacks have truly taken over my life sometimes, but now that I am on meds, seem to be helping me a lot. I still cry a lot, and have no reason for it. Working through it day by day, and I decided if I " talked" about it, would help me a bit more. Instead of keeping everything inside, and only talking to my husband and OB about it. PPD is more on the lines, of feeling empty inside.. Not feeling my normal self, and lonely. I have no clue, why I could ever feel this way, when I have two healthily babies and loving husband. Before I had the twins, I was happy go lucky, and easy going. Now, I worry about the smallest things, I cry over the littlest thing. I am always wondering " what if", and those have lead me to the panic attacks. I worry, if something happens to me - Who will take care of my kids, will they know who I was, will they ever know, how much I love them.. Its sad, because as I type this.. I am just crying because, I want to be there for my kids in every way. I am always worrying.. My primary care finally found the right meds for me, and seems to be working. Panic attacks have gone a lot, but in the meantime of everything, I have vertigo!
I have positional vertigo, and it's very scary to have. They say it's crystals that build in the back of your ears, that will cause someone to be " off balance". One morning, I woke up and I could not even WALK! I was bouncing off the walls, and could not even get to my kids in their cribs. Thank goodness, that day I was supposed to be going out with MIL, and she came right over. When this happen, it set me in the worse panic attack, they I could ever deal with.
Over the course of the days, my balance was starting to come back normal. I decided that Tuesday, I would go in and see my primary care - just to understand " why". She noticed, I had a large amount of fluid behind my ears, and caused me to lose my balance. She gave me a script and off I went. Over the course of the month, I notice certain positions, I would put myself into, would cause my to feel like I was dizzy and going to pass out. When this was happening the panic attacks were getting stronger, because I did not know what was going on. This past Monday, I made appointment and I wanted Jason to go with me. She did couple of test on me, and said " you have vertigo" Now, I have to go to therapy 2x a week for 2 weeks to try and correct it, and if that does not work. I have to go and see ENT doctor, which takes forever to get into. I went ahead and made an appointment with ENT doctor, because they are hard to get into - my appointment is Nov 24th. Friday, I will be going to my 1st appointment for therapy - JOY!
All these events have been taking place, and I have been keeping them inside. I am now to the point, where I feel like I could lose my mind. I cry more then I ever have, because I want to "normal" again, and be the best mom and wife, that I can be. With all these problems, just feel like the world is against me right now. I really dont have "friends" anymore, because I had kids. A lot of my friends, dont have children and went their own way. Which is fine, and I knew it would happen. I feel like, I am trapped in this bubble and trying to figure everything out.
Did not want to share with my family, because I dont want them to worry. I dont want them to look at me say " Are you Okay", or think I cant take care of my own kids. I want to be strong and get pass this and live life to the fullest. Right now, I dont feel like I am, because I am scared of myself. I dont know, if that make any sense, but to me it does.
Today at the park with two moms, I finally opened up. They notice I was not myself anymore, and finally just broke down. It easy for someone to say " its going to be okay", I keep telling myself that. Just dont think they understand, what fears I have. Am I going to wake up tomorrow with no balance and not be able to walk?" Am I going to have a panic attack?
Not sure if anyone truly understands, what I am going through.. I dont want anyone to understand, I want myself to understand more then anything. Right now, they only thing I understand is - I love my kids more then life, and my husband. Everything else, I dont understand and trying to find my way.
Just pray that this will pass, and I lead a normal life and be happy again. Right now, I am breaking down inside. I am putting my faith into God, to get my through this. They also say " This To Shall Pass" Right now, I dont feel like this is going to pass....
This is the short and skinny of everything. I did not go back and read this, because it just makes me cry. Sorry for the typos, ect - Just wanted to get it off my chest.
XOXO
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Sorry for not posting..
Kitchen!
This is what they found, when tearing out the cabients! Horrible!
Faiella Family has been very busy. First, we did the photo shoot with Dustin Prickett. In between this, we started house repairs. All I can say, I am happy it's over and I am loving the changes. We went through a lot to get to the final reveal.
1. Kitchen needed to be replaced ( I will post pictures, and you can see - why)
2. Bath tub was redone
3. Back yard got cleaned up, fenced got painted ( minor project)
The biggest project was the kitchen. In between everyone coming over, doing their parts in the project. Faiella family was trying to hold it together in the house. No Kitchen = NOT A HAPPY MOMMA! I was washing bottles in the bathtub, working without running water. The kids and I, had to go stay at my sister in laws house, because the mold was horrible, when they took out the cabinets.
Everything is back to normal, and were getting back on track. Enjoy the wonderful pictures...
On another note - We're nearing 10 months, and it's really sad. Time has gone by so fast, and I hope, I truly enjoyed every second.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Fall IN FLORIDA - Is HERE
Some people that might read this may laugh at me. Florida finally has FALL WEATHER! FINALLY! Today the high was only 69, which is wonderful for us Florida people.
Which leads me to this question. I dont know how to dress the twins - lol. I really have to sit back and think.. " To much" or " Should I put more on them".. It's kinda of hard. Besides that, I am enjoying the weather and looking forward to the Holidays.
Love,
Which leads me to this question. I dont know how to dress the twins - lol. I really have to sit back and think.. " To much" or " Should I put more on them".. It's kinda of hard. Besides that, I am enjoying the weather and looking forward to the Holidays.
Love,
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Special Photos
Dustin Prickett took these photos of Reagan & Jayden for me. Just wanted to share these with you.. These photos mean the world to me..
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